Good Start to the Day.

This morning Mom woke with a cheery, energetic attitude. She was giggling and getting dressed. “Wow, hi Mother”. “Hi there”, she gave me a strong squeeze. If you ever get a hug from my mom, you will know it is heart-felt. She picked out a pretty dress and put on pearls. I reminded her it was Saturday. “Who cares”? “Okay, you’re right. Let’s go get a waffle with Strawberries and we’ll go for a drive”. She lit up with glee just like a child anticipating a fun day.


I had barely woken up before checking in on her, so I told her I was going to get dressed. I was really excited to spend a fun morning out with my mom. Just like the healthy days. I dressed up a bit too and I skipped my shower so we could take advantage of this “Up” morning. I quickly put on my make-up and occasionally checked the monitor to see that she was still readying herself. Oh, now she is wearing a different outfit. I went back in her room and she had Capri’s on and a cute blouse. She had put lipstick on her lips and cheeks. I put out her shoes for her to put on and said I was going to be right back.

No more than 10 minutes had passed and when I returned, she was leaning back in her chair with her eyes closed and looked limp and was jerking. “Mom, you okay?” “I can’t do it…I can’t go…everyone thinks I was dead and are so surprised to see me. Can they come here to see me instead?” “Of course, we don’t have to go. We’ll have some breakfast here, just the two of us.” The statement she made about everyone thinking she was dead has been a track she has been on all week. I found out from Betty that when she took mom to the senior center a while back that someone had said that to Betty. They thought SHE had died. Can you imagine someone saying that to you? So mom transferred that to herself.

She calmed down and I helped her to the kitchen. Eating half her oatmeal, a sip of coffee, she soon was sitting with her eyes closed. I walked her to her room and she slept for another 1½ hours.

This is the pattern that is forming daily….eating very little, sleeping much more, up for short periods of time and then feeling down, speaking about dying. This morning while I was fixing breakfast she said. “I am dying, you know?” “Oh momma, no, you are doing fine.” “No, it’s not on the outside, it’s on the inside”. We shared big hugs.

Mom has been extra loving. She hugs me telling me in Dutch than I am so sweet. She is feeling settled in our home and extra peaceful with her fate. It was a big turnaround from last week when she was crying and very distressed. It is amazing.

Yesterday, Pastor Pat came and spent some time with mom. It was an opposite morning from today. She had stayed in bed, not wanting to get up. Even when I told her the Pastor was coming. She was fine with him coming to sit with her by her bed. This was the first bedside visit with many more to come. His comments were encouraging after their time of sharing.

Later a nurse from Hospice came and mom was up and dressed. When I introduced them to each other, my mom hugged her like she was her long lost daughter. Debbie was surprised but didn’t resist. Mom started to cry. Yup, she captured Debbie’s heart. That is what mom does, people just instantly love her!

After many questions and an interview, Debbie was somewhat puzzled saying the mom was a borderline case. We spoke in the other room while mom was distracted with the shopping network. We talked about her weight loss, her lack of appetite and the tremors. Debbie said she needed to make the case for Medicare that mom was eligible for hospice care.

Debbie went outside on the patio and was on the phone for a good 15 minutes deciding mom’s future care. I was fine with whatever the outcome. I am handling things fine. Sure, it’s emotionally draining, but I believe I can maintain okay on my own. Soon she returned with a smile saying it was approved. A nurse will be coming 2 times a week to monitor mom’s health, bathe her and change the bedding. I was feeling a slight guilt. I can do that. Debbie encouraged me to take advantage of the services offered. I requested a Dutch speaking caretaker if possible and she said she would put in that request. So mom is officially in Hospice Care. I have mixed emotions. This is for people who are within 6 months of dying, could that really be? Is it true, is my mother going to die? I can hardly believe it.