Day 6 - Sunday

Finding the time and energy to enter posts into the blog is a real challenge. Today is Sunday. My sister Sylvia has set aside her Sundays to spend with my mother. Bless her heart, I believe this has been the routine for the last 2 years. It was important for my mom to know that this particular schedule did not change. She wanted to remain at the same church.

The second day she was here with us, she wanted to take a drive to see the distance to the church, my sisters home and basically get her bearings...even asking me to draw it on a map.
One thing I have always admired about my mom is that she loves geography and maps. Whenever the world news was on she had her giant Atlas close by and she would look up the countries and get her bearings of the world view. So asking me to draw a map was very endearing to me.

Although her questions repeat and she sees people that are really trees, she often has surprised me with her questions and remarks. Some things she says are so very witty, and some things are very complex thinking. For example: She wanted to transfer her newspaper subscription to my house. I said "Oh, yes we will cancel that." "No, no, not cancel, we need to transfer so any money I have paid in advance will transfer to this house." She says this with her finger pointing to make a clear point. That is impressive, don't you think?

So today, we got her up, I laid out her clothes and she pretty much got ready, slowly but surely.
We had to hurry her a bit as my sister had breakfast waiting and we were on our way, to our church across town, to work with our kids ministry. She was not quite awake but there was not much time for questions either. Dropping her off was a nice relief knowing she was in good hands and she was going to enjoy her time with Syl.

3:00 p.m. rolled around and Sylvia pulled up with mom. She helped unseat belt her and I could see distress on my mothers face. Pulling her close, she said to Sylvia. "I want to stay with you." "Momma, I work all day, it's not possible." "Come on, let's go into Norma's house." I chimed in "Hi mom, I missed you. You can visit with me for a while. I will have to do." With a twinkle and smile. She walked in and we went to her room, all three of us, and showed her all her belongings and pictures on the wall. She was so confused..."Let's get a glass of water, momma". Sylvia led her into the kitchen. I unknowingly served my mother water and completely forgot to get Syl her water. That is how focused you become. Trying to anticipate the need...trying to read her expressions. Is she starting to come back to realizing this is home now? Slowly through the conversation it started clicking, but than the conversation would drift to the episode in her mind of seeing a man in the mountain. "Wow, mom your glasses are making you see like you have binoculars on...I can't see any people on that mountain". We tried to make light of it but she had nothing of it.

I am starting to recognize a certain look she gets when she is saying in her expression: "I know you don't believe me but I am certain. I am getting a bit angry that no one believes me."

Sylvia stayed for a while and we strung some beads with the days of the week to form bracelets. My plan is that she can wear them to remind her throughout the day what day it is. It's amazing all the ideas that have come to me while trying to make life easier for her.

One such idea was, to move the bed intentionally in her way as she exits the bathroom in her suite. In the middle of the night she woke and would use the bathroom and walk straight out of her room and wander. I never knew which bedroom I would find her in. Three rooms are very close together in that hallway. Think about how confusing that would be in her state of mind, adjusting to a new place. I would check her room and she was gone...the first time it completely freaked me out. Than we would just laugh and I told her she was playing "Goldilocks" "This bed is just too hard, this bed is too soft.... Oh she got a kick out of that. She actually brings that up sometimes when I am giving her choices.

My next brilliant idea, (I truly believe these ideas come, because I have so many people praying for me) We blocked the hallway with a sofa table and put silk plants and flowers to block the other doors past her room. This has worked really well. 'Thank you Lord."

So, my sister left and my mom did not stop talking from 4 p.m. till almost 9 o'clock. I am totally spent. For some reason, everything finally fell in place and she was really happy to be here once again.
We had to tour the house several times. She wanted to talk about the financial arrangements.
My brother Jim is a CPA and has handled her finances since my Father passed away in 1985. He has done a wonderful job and invested her monies. So I said to mom, "Jim and I have talked about that Mom and it's all set." That settled her mind all last week, but today she said, "Well, he hasn't asked me, he is my accountant you know." I said "That's right, you should talk with him about that." and I added, "Tell him to pay me more!" Oh, she got the joke and we laughed and laughed.

We really have had some good times this past week. She can be so witty at times. Than the delusions and hallucinations creep back in at times too. I can't imagine how tormented her mind gets with such bad thoughts. Many times, it will be about rape, and men visiting her room.
Can you imagine? Today we talked about it more on a level that she realized they were in her mind. She stated how in the middle of the night she has so many questions. "Where am I, are my thoughts real.... inspired by the Holy Spirit I encouraged her to dwell on what she knows instead of these questioning thoughts. I know God loves me, He will never leave me or forsake me...she chimed in with scriptures...He who dwells on the most High...one scripture after another. Shaking her head, Yes, yes that is a good plan.

I took a break from writing to check if mom was ready for bed and found her kneeling and praying. I joined her and she prayed out loud. "Jesus, thank you....for this family that adopted me....she went on to ask forgiveness for her sins and to draw her closer to Him. She named all her kids and prayed that they would turn to Him in every situation. On and on she prayed and I was in wonder..thanking God again for his mercy and Grace.

My prayer is that I will continue to feel the prayers of my dear family and precious friends.
I am going to need it. This TOUGH. I found myself wanting to say...please..stop talking for just a few minutes....can I just watch my show! (I thought that the TV would distract her, she knew what I was doing too, because she would put her finger to her mouth like she was hushing her words) But within 60 seconds she would begin with forming her plan of adjusting to living here.
"You just go about your own routine and I will make myself at home too. okay?". I felt bad for losing my patience but it is just exhausting.

My family has been great. Wednesday they came and had dinner with us and than Michael and I went to a friends home and played games. Jim and Marsha, Jim and Sylvia...Thank you.
Saturday Night, Betty, a friend that we have had come visit mom 3 times a week in the past, came and stayed with her while Michael and I went to the movies. So I am making sure we get our away times and I regain same sanity.

That is all for tonight. Please excuse my grammar, and my ramblings but this is a great release to share my thoughts. I cannot believe it will be a week tomorrow.

Goodnight.