Finding a Mom-Sitter

Wow, it's all coming back to me. Life with a toddler. It's very similar now. Tonight I was asked on a date with my hubby. Hmmm... time to find a sitter. Not for my toddler but for my mother! Yes, there are many similarities. Keeping track of her, bathing her, anticipating her needs, comforting her when she is frightened...

Last night was quite an experience. Mom was sick to her stomach, didn't want to eat, sad and crying. Nothing I could do would offer comfort. Normally a sit on the patio swing at dusk, or put on her music she loves, there was no way to bring her back. She was in another state of mind. She has a way of resting her head back and going into a spell of the shakes. Usually I can say: "Open your eyes Mom, look at me and you won't shake." Sometimes, not always I can pull her back to reality. Not last night.

Finally I said, "Mom it's time for bed, you are exhausted." It was only 7 p.m. but it was only making matters worse trying to console her. Our ritual began. Undress, put on the PJ's, cleanse the dentures, prayer time and into bed. Usually she is very cooperative, joking on how spoiled she is, but last evening, she was a rag doll. Finally she was in bed. I left the door open a bit, letting her know she could call me. Big Sigh.

So, a few minutes go by, right? Tap, Tap to a Knock, knock. It sounded like she was trying to get out of her room, as if I had locked her in. I ran, "Mom, is everything alright?" "Come, come here." She pulled my arm in a frantic strength. Over to her bathroom she said...he's here, look.


I could tell she had been adjusting the blind. Then I saw the problem. She had hung her hand mirror on the nail over her calendar. It was just the right height so she could see her own reflection in the mirror. "Oh, I see Mom, the mirror, look." I gently pulled her into her own view of her reflection. I hugged her and told her "There's the problem, it was you that you saw!"


I acted overjoyed to have her problem solved but she was not too convinced. But it seemed to calm her down enough to go back to bed and finally get the rest she desperately needed.

Hurray! She is asleep. Do you remember that feeling when you baby finally went into the sweet sleep and you knew you could finally rest. Hopefully tomorrow would bring a happy day.

It's been one good day, than a rough one, so I was looking forward to a good day today.

To monitor her sleep at night, I researched and found the greatest monitor. It is activated by sound or movement and comes with a mini-screen for me to view her movements. I knew that she would wake up and not know where she was. Well, there is one problem. It beeps when it turns on but if I kept the volume up...her snoring kept me up! So now, the light comes on and frankly, I sleep right through it. Even when I had the volume up the first night, she walked into our room and scared us to death! I woke from a deep sleep and instantly jumped up and laughed with her as she said she couldn't find her bed. I put her back to bed and finally found a way to fall back asleep. Next morning...my mom is gone out of her bed. Heart Attack time...there she was, sound asleep in the guest room. We got a big kick out of it, teasing her that she was playing Goldilocks.

So this morning came....I check the monitor for when she gets out of bed. Hoo..hoo, I sang getting closer to her room, to give her a warning. I opened the door and she greeted me with open arms.
She had opened the blinds and we danced about the new day. "Mom, hurray, you had a good nights sleep!" (I could tell because the covers were still tucked in on one side of the bed and everything else was in place. I also knew she hadn't wandered because she did not use the guest bathroom during the night in the hallway. She never flushes the toilet at night). "Yes, I did have a good rest." She said. "Oh good, momma. No more stomach or heart aches." "Nope" with a smile. "Do you remember how bad you felt last night?" "I was faking". She said, like a child confessing her wrongdoing. "Oh, that's interesting, are you sure?" "Yes". "But why?" I was so curious what she would say next. "Oh, you know they take my stuff here and there." "Hmmm, okay, well it's a new day and we are going to have a great one!"

I gave her a shower which she has turned out to enjoy so much. I was afraid she would resist my assistance, but no, she really accepts the care. Got her dressed. Out to the dinette to have her morning oatmeal. She took a few bites and again she wasn't hungry. Nothing tasted right, last night either. Coffee, no..banana...no. "Norma, I am going to cry." It all started again. What is triggering this? Nothing worked to cheer her and so I suggested she lay down for a while. After going to the window and looking for mysterious man running up the mountain, we found ourselves in her bedroom. She looked around..."Where is my red purse?" The night before, she had hid her purse and I had looked everywhere. She started to open a slim drawer in her roll up desk. Surely it could not fit in there? There it was...her red purse! We were both so happy to find it. A big bright smile I had not seen since early the morning before. Oh, good. The phone rang and I left to go answer. When I returned, she was sitting in her green chair, in the morning sunshine, going through her purse. She looked at me, "I can't find my bills, here is my change but no bills?" I opened her wallet and found them all folded and hidden in an odd pocket of her wallet. "Here they are." She counted her money and than she stood up and she was HAPPY!

"Mom, is this what was bothering you so much?" "It made me sick to not know where my money was...did somebody steal it? Did I leave it at the church?" I was miserable."

Again, I learned another valuable lesson. She may not remember somethings, but she was very lucid about losing her money and purse. This was so important. And isn't it something that would make you and I sick as well? Of course!

That was the turning point. She was back. Soon she was greeting her friends who had planned to come take her for a few hours for a visit. They toured her new home and were amazed at how happy she was. If they only knew what I went through to get her to that happy place.

So a couple of hours to myself....ahhh. Oh my goodness. only 45 minutes left...gotta go.

Hugs to you all.