To Urgent Care We Go

Mom wasn't acting her normal self for a couple of days...not eating, very tired, confused more than usual and complaining of pain in her upper abdomen which she calls heart pains. She had some digestive issues and after talking with my sister-in-law, Marsha, she reminded me that it may be gallbladder problems, so I decided I better get her blood tested. By the time we got to urgent care she was very sleepy.

We came at a very good time and hardly had a wait. We received excellent care and one particular nurse came and showed mom a lot and compassion. She brought mom a warm blanket and before long, mom was sound asleep. I had refused a number of tests, brain scan, electrocardiogram, and chest X-rays. We have gone through this many times and those tests never produced any conclusive information and in my opinion can do more harm than good in certain circumstances.

After a few hours, and a battery of tests it was determined that mom's sodium levels had dipped causing the multiple symptoms. It may have been that she had a slight case of the flu and with mom, weakness in her system causes an imbalance of sodium. Of course they wanted to put her in the hospital right away. Calls between siblings, weighing the pros and cons, I decided to bring her home. I would be limiting her water intake and watching for any worsening signs which is what the hospital staff would have done, but I can lessen her trauma by being at the house with me. I warned her I was going to be very "bossy" to get her well.

Being a full time caretaker brings many responsibilities. This particular decision was a big one.I had to sign multiple pages releasing the clinic of any responsibility if she was to die as a result of the decision I made. Yikes.

Fortunately it was the best decision this time because Mom's health improved over the course of this week. I should mention I had a scare early around 5:30 a.m. the next morning when she woke and was having a case of the shakes and she was groaning while half asleep. I thought I was going to be going to the hospital for sure. But once she was truly awake she was okay.

She seemed to understand that she could only drink small amounts of water and I had to force her to eat a bit more than I normally would.

A followup visit with her regular doctor and a second round of blood tests 2 days later came with positive results that indeed her sodium levels were rebounding faster than normal. She looked great and her confusion was lessening. Dr. P said that the Urgent Care's recommendation for a hospital stay was justified and listed all the things that could have transpired. Thank the Lord for the good outcome.

She is almost completely off her meds with normally only a half of pill of Ativan in the a.m. So this has been a big victory. One fear the Urgent Care doctor expressed was that the meds were decreased a little too aggressively.

Thursday, my daughter came for a visit with her daughter and we had the most wonderful time. Molly is busy 21 months old and is very bright and provides hours of entertainment. But I am learning that we need to be careful to not over-stimulate mom. A trip to the coast to go shopping and lunch out on Friday was a little much, especially while she is in recovery. Even though it was days later....it was too much. Sorry Momma!

After our busy day... Mom napped in the afternoon and then had a restless night. My monitor showed me, her bed was made early in the morning around 5:30. I went in and she had packed most of her belongings, pictures were stacked and she was convinced she was moving. Every necklace she owned was around her neck and and she was ready to go. Again in her mind it was war time and she was to hide from the Germans. After listening to her stories I was able to get her to go back to bed. Soon she was up again crying. She said she wasn't happy here and that she was just too old to do so much activity. "I am an old lady you know". I asked her if she would like to move in with her friends and with the old people she said yes. Knife in the heart. I felt so sad.

I had her sleep a bit more but she was up within 30 minutes.

I came to greet her with my "Hoo, hoo" and tap tap on the door. She had big smiles and was a completely different person. Bright eyed and ready for a new day. That is how this disease of dementia is. Moment to moment. You don't know what emotions will manifest. Sometimes you try to figure out if her words of lament are triggered by real feelings or they are random. 90% of the time she expresses how happy and blessed she is to be with family and living in such a wonderful place. I have to continually learn not take things personally. It's not easy.

The hallucinations are pretty much gone. No paranoia and the crying have pretty much ceased.That was until yesterday. She had a rough morning. I don't really know how much she is awake during the night. We have the hallways blocked to shorten her wanderings. Clues that she has had a rough night usually come with clothes stacked on the bed. Her comforter folded and she is dressed in layers of clothes. It's pretty easy to get her comforted and eased back into bed. This particular morning I had a hair appointment and was planning to go together, but I left her home in bed. Michael was home to watch her.

When I got home, she was still in her room and I went in and said hello and we chatted a while but she was pretty sad. I told her Beverly was on the way to visit and she said she was not in the mood. Beverly along with another sweet lady. named Betty. come and watch mom occasionally for a few hours at a time so we can have a break. "Hi Leny" Beverly greeted mom with a warm smile and hug and soon they were having a nice visit. Michael and I left for a couple of hours and when we returned mom had a stack of tissue on the table and she was visibly very upset. Beverly gave me a note which explained some of mom's ramblings and they expressed many of the strange happenings she complained about back when she lived at the rest home. Darn, I was hoping that those horrible thoughts and delusions would never return. Complaints of sexual abuse and money being stolen.

There is nothing sadder than seeing your mom so broken and sad. I gave her a half tablet of Ativan hoping it would ease her stress and within half an hour she was much better. My sister came for a visit and that was the best medicine of all. The rest of the evening was great. It's the roller coaster ride that we are on. Ups and downs.

So this post doesn't have much humor or entertainment. Just a bite of reality. This is a tough job. It's emotional and exhausting. The rewards have been few and far between this week. The hours when I have someone come in are precious. I have been actually napping which shows how exhausted I am because I am not usually a napper.

Today is Sunday. It was a great start to a new week. Michael and I work with the K-5th graders at our church teaching scripture in song. We love it! The message was great. Mom was with my sister for church and brunch. Now Mom is home resting in her easy chair taking a nap.I believe this week will be much better and my next blog will bring a more positive outlook on life with mom at our home.