My Mother - My Best Friend Forever

As I sat by my mother’s side this morning, she talked in her sleep a little here and there but she was pretty peaceful and in a state of light slumber.  I had rubbed some moisture oil around her denture- free mouth to soothe her dry lips. You see, this is the third day that mom has not eaten and has not gotten out of bed  except to use the bathroom a few times a day.  It’s been 3.5 weeks since she took a fall.  Nothing broken but she couldn’t put any weight on it, so it’s been a slow gentle slope downward in her health.

As I sat there, stroking her hair I tried to hold her hand, but it was too cold.  She made a little joke about me keeping it in refrigerator , she gently pushed it away and pulled the covers closely around her neck.  I put on a DVD of the Gaither’s Homecoming album which celebrates the musicians and hymns sung at the Billy Graham Crusades.  Oh . the hymns are so precious.  Right now they are singing…”The King is Coming…Praise God He is coming for me”.   Mom loves the music and I do too.

This could be the last few weeks of her life.  But I have to add, she has surprised us before and sprung back from the lowest points .  One of her Hospice nurses said last week, “There is something Supernatural in that woman and I have quit trying to diagnose her, because she has surprised us so many times.”  It’s true!

 

Great Granddaughter "Molly" 

It’s been an honor to travel this journey with her .  These times bring many sentimental thoughts and snapshots of time.  Through the years, my Mom has truly been my best friend.  Memories of my preteens when the two of us would go to the local Humane Society to go see the many animals up for adoption, going grocery shopping, stopping at Wiener Schnitzel to get corn dogs and her teaching me how to knit, all small videos in my mind.  Fast forward to the time I talked to her about Michael and thinking about inviting him to Thanksgiving dinner.  Michael and I were broken up at the time and she said,    “You know you will be telling him you want to get back together again”.  I was so torn, I didn’t ask him to come on Thanksgiving, but a month later Michael and I were engaged. The timing was right.  I was only 17 at the time yet both mom and dad supported my decision.

I lived away from Escondido only 6 months after Michael and I were married, then we moved in with my parents while we completely renovated an old house on Vermont Street.  When everyone else was saying or thinking, just tear down that old shack and start over! Not my mom…she never discouraged us, in fact I do not recall her ever criticizing me about my mothering skills either.  Always an encourager.

While I was a young mother, mom and I spent a lot of time together, shopping, taking walks together or just hanging out watching the kids play.  I remember while the kids were in school, walking from her house on Soria Glen down to the local IHOP, sharing a “Viva La French Toast” with some coffee, then walking back to her house.  We would laugh about, what ‘good’  the exercise had done, but it sure is a great  memory.

Mom and Dad opened their home to us for Roast dinner on many a Sunday.  We were quite a crew of 6 and I look back and wonder if they ever got tired of us, but they never showed it, always welcomed us with open arms.

This morning while lying in bed, I told Michael I was going to start talking more about  Heaven with Mom.  Without thinking more about it,  I found myself having  a sweet conversation about her going ‘Home’ to heaven.  She said she hardly dares to believe it.  She smiled.

Moments later, In slumber she said “The Molen, the molen, can you see it?”  (Molen is windmill in Dutch)I said “Yes, I could.”  I told her that I thought God was preparing a Mansion shaped in a Windmill for her,  because she loved them so much.  She sang a little tune…”Oh the Molen, I will go there if you will be my wife”.  She asked me if I would be her “Frow” (wife), I said yes. I gave a giggle and she said very seriously, it’s nothing to laugh about’.  Hhhhmm?

Mom sat up a few times to get up and after sitting up for a few minutes , would  then decides to lay back down.  Sometimes it looked as if she gets startled,   so I asked her “What’s wrong mom?” She thought it was supper time and that she was late.  I asked her if she was hungry and she said “not really, I just have the feeling that I am late”.  “No mom, you are not late, I will wake you if it gets too late”.  She relaxed again and now she is back to sleep.

The only new medicine she has been taking now is a very low dose of pain medicine.  She continues to take Ativan, 3 times a day rather than 2.  I was giving her a laxative but now she is empty, so I am weaning her off for now until or if she starts to eat again.  Yesterday she got up and had very painful gas pains.  She was crying and then it turned to anger and was pushing everything away, including me.  I could see her just escalating to a bad place so I gave her the tiniest amount of morphine and she calmed back down.  Soon she was back to her very sweet self.

It’s going to be a very interesting next few weeks.  Will she bounce back? I don’t believe so, not this time, but I have learned not to make any predictions because we can all agree  “There is something supernatural in that lady.”